Russian funeral customs. Funeral and memorial rites

Every person on this earth has two most important events in life - birth and death. Between these two events lies life.

For one person it is long, for another it is short, but in their lives people, as a rule, drive away the thought of death, thinking that they will live forever. But then death comes, and with it the inevitable bitter worries about burying someone dear to you.

Not often, but it happens that a person thinks about his future death and prepares a coffin for himself in advance. Such a product is usually stored in attics. But here there is a small but very significant “but”: the coffin is empty, and since it is made according to a person’s standards, he begins to “pull” it into himself. And a person, as a rule, dies faster. Previously, to prevent this from happening, sawdust, shavings, and grain were poured into an empty coffin. After the death of a person, sawdust, shavings, and grain were also buried in the hole. After all, if you feed a bird with such grain, it will become sick.

When a person has died and measurements are taken from him to make a coffin, under no circumstances should the measurement be placed on the bed. It is best to take it out of the house and put it in a coffin during the funeral.

Be sure to remove all silver objects from the deceased: after all, this is precisely the metal that is used to fight “the unclean.” Therefore, the latter can “disturb” the body of the deceased.

If there is a dead person in the house, do not do laundry. This must be done after the funeral.

When the coffin is being made, relatives and friends are prohibited from participating. It is best to bury the shavings formed during the manufacture of the coffin in the ground, or, in extreme cases, throw them into water.

The bed on which a person died does not need to be thrown away, as many do. Take her and take her out to the chicken coop, let her lie there for three nights, so that, as the legend goes, the rooster will sing her song three times.

When the time comes to place the deceased in a coffin, then they sprinkle holy water on the body of the deceased and his coffin, outside and inside. You can also cover it with incense. The body is then transferred to the coffin. A whisk is placed on the forehead of the deceased. It is given in church when the deceased is brought to the funeral service. The deceased's lips should be closed, his eyes closed, his hands folded crosswise on his chest, the right one on top of the left. A Christian woman's head is covered with a large scarf that completely covers her hair, and its ends do not need to be tied, but simply folded crosswise. You should not put a tie on a deceased Orthodox Christian. An icon or cross is placed in the left hand of the deceased; for men - the image of the savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God. Or you can do this: in the left hand - a cross, and on the chest of the deceased - a Holy image. A pillow, usually made of cotton wool, is placed under the feet and head of the deceased. The body is covered with a sheet. The coffin is placed in the middle of the room in front of the icons, turning the face of the deceased with his head towards the icons.

When you see a dead person in a coffin, do not automatically touch your body with your hands. This is due to the fact that in the place where you touched your hand, various skin growths in the form of a tumor can grow.

If there is a deceased person in the house, then when meeting your friend or relatives there, you should greet with a bow of the head, and not with your voice.

While the deceased is in the house, the floor should not be swept. If you do not follow this advice, your family members may soon get sick, or worse may happen.

During the funeral, you cannot visit the graves of relatives and friends located in the same cemetery.

The ritual must be completed to completion for one person.

Do not listen to those people who advise placing two needles crosswise on his lips to preserve the body of a deceased person from decomposition. This will not save the body of the deceased, but the needles that were on his lips will definitely disappear; they are used to cause damage.

To prevent a heavy smell from coming from the deceased, you can put a bunch of sage on his head; people call it “cornflowers.” It also serves another purpose - to ward off "evil spirits." For the same purposes, you can use willow branches, which are sacred on Palm Sunday and kept behind the images. These branches can be placed under the deceased.

A man died, his body was placed in a coffin, but the bed on which he died had not yet been taken out. Friends or strangers may come to you and ask you to lie on this bed. The argument put forward is the following: so that their back and bones do not hurt. Don't listen to them. Don't hurt yourself.

Do not put fresh flowers in the coffin of a dead person. For this purpose, use artificial ones or, as a last resort, dried ones.

A candle is lit near the coffin as a sign that the deceased has moved to the realm of light - a better afterlife.

A lamp or candle is lit in the house and burns as long as the deceased is in the house.

Instead of a candlestick, glasses are often used for candles, into which wheat is poured. Some people sprinkle this wheat on others and thereby cause damage. This wheat should also not be used for poultry or livestock feed.

Make sure that someone else's things are not placed under the deceased. If you notice this, then you need to pull them out of the coffin and burn them somewhere far away.

It happens that, out of ignorance, some compassionate mothers put photographs of their children in the coffin of their grandparents. After this, the child began to get sick, and if help was not provided in time, death could occur.

You cannot give your things to dress the deceased. The deceased is buried, and the one who gave away his things begins to get sick.

A coffin with a deceased person is taken out of the house, and someone stands near the door and starts tying knots in rags. He explains this operation to people by saying that he is tying knots so that no more coffins will be taken out of this house. Although such a person has something completely different on his mind...

If a pregnant woman goes to a funeral, she will do harm to herself. A sick child may be born. Therefore, try to stay at home during this time, and you need to say goodbye to your loved one in advance - before the funeral.

When a dead person is being carried to a cemetery, do not cross his path under any circumstances, as various tumors may form on your body. If this happens, then you should take the hand of the deceased, always the right one, and move all your fingers over the tumor and read “Our Father.” This needs to be done three times, after each time spitting over your left shoulder.

When they carry a dead man in a coffin down the street, try not to look from the window of your apartment or house.

The ties that bind the hands and feet of the deceased must be untied and placed in the coffin with the deceased. Otherwise, as a rule, they are used to cause damage.

If you say goodbye to the deceased, try not to step on the towel that is placed in the cemetery near the coffin, so as not to incur damage to yourself.

If you are afraid of a dead person, grab the dead person's legs and hold on. This can be done before he is placed in the grave.

Sometimes people can throw earth from a grave in their bosom or collar, proving that this way they can avoid the fear of the dead. Don't believe it - this is done to cause damage.

Returning from a funeral, it is imperative to dust off your shoes before entering the house, and also hold your hands over the fire of a lit candle. This is done in order to prevent damage to the home.

The funeral is over, and according to the old Christian custom, water and something from food are placed in a glass on the table to treat the soul of the deceased.

Make sure that small children or adults do not inadvertently drink from this glass or eat anything. After such a treat, both adults and children begin to get sick.

During the wake, according to tradition, a glass of vodka is poured for the deceased. Don't drink it if anyone advises you to.

There is a dead man on your street, and you urgently need to plant potatoes. Don't waste your time and effort. If you plant potatoes at a time when the deceased has not yet been buried, do not expect a good harvest.

If you come to the grave of a loved one to pull out grass, paint a fence or plant something, you start digging and dig up things that shouldn’t be there. In this case, everything you found must be taken out of the cemetery and burned. When it burns, try not to get exposed to the smoke, otherwise you may get sick yourself.

A funeral on New Year's Day is a very bad omen: in the coming year, there will be a funeral at least once a month.

The funeral on Sunday predicts three more funerals during the week.

It is dangerous to postpone a funeral for any reason. Then one, two or three deaths in the family or immediate area will occur within a week or a month.

If the funeral is postponed until next week, it is probably unlucky, because the dead person will try his best to take someone with him.

After the funeral, do not visit any of your friends or relatives.

Viburnum is planted in the heads of the graves of young men and women.

For the first seven days from the date of death of the deceased, do not take any things out of the house.

Do not distribute the deceased’s belongings to relatives, friends or acquaintances for up to 40 days.

If one of you has lost a loved one or loved one, and you often cry for him, then it is advised to have thistle grass in your house.

When someone dies, try to have only women present.

If the patient is dying seriously, then for an easier death, remove the feather pillow from under his head. In villages, the dying person is laid on straw.

To ease the agony of death, the patient must be covered with white material, which will later be used to upholster the coffin.

When there is a dead person in the house, you cannot drink water in the neighboring houses in the morning that was in buckets or pans. It must be poured out and freshly poured in.

It is advisable that the washing of the body of the deceased occur during daylight hours - from sunrise to sunset. Water after ablution must be handled very carefully. It is necessary to dig a hole far from the yard, garden and living quarters, where people do not walk, and pour everything, to the last drop, into it and cover it with earth. The fact is that the water in which the deceased was washed causes very strong damage. Therefore, do not give this water to anyone, no matter who approaches you with such a request.

Try not to spill this water around the apartment so that those living in it do not get sick.

Pregnant women should not wash the deceased in order to avoid illness of the unborn child, as well as women who are menstruating.

As a rule, only elderly women prepare the deceased for his last journey.

The shroud must be sewn on a live thread and always with a needle from yourself, so that there are no more deaths in the house.

In Rus' in former times

In the house where the dying person lay, all the keys were removed from the keyholes and the doors and windows were opened so that the person’s soul could leave the body without interference. When a person gave his soul to God, he was necessarily washed so that he would appear before the Lord pure in soul and body.

Strict rules were followed when washing the deceased. The deceased was placed with his feet next to the stove and washed 2-3 times with warm water and soap from a new clay pot. The water with which the deceased was washed became “dead”, and it was poured somewhere far away, so that a healthy person would not step on this place, and also so that the sorcerer would not take it for himself to cause damage. The same was done with the water used to wash the dishes after the funeral and the floors after removing the deceased from the house. They also tried to get rid of other attributes of ablution as quickly as possible.

In the coffin of the deceased they place his baptismal cross, an icon, a crown on his forehead, candles and a “handwriting” - a written prayer for absolution. They give a towel (scarf) in their hands so that the deceased can wipe the sweat from their face during the Last Judgment. Who died on Easter - an egg in his hand.

The deceased is usually buried in white clothes, personifying the infantile purity of the Christian soul.

A sign was strictly observed: do not make the coffin larger than the deceased, otherwise there will be another deceased. In the house, as a sign of mourning, mirrors are curtained or turned “facing” the wall so that the person’s soul does not remain locked on the other side of the mirror. All clocks are also stopped as a sign that a person’s life journey has been completed. Before the funeral, friends and relatives come to say goodbye to the person, but 20 minutes before the removal of the body, only the closest relatives should remain with the deceased.

Take the dead person's dirty linen out of the house - take everyone out of the house.

In preparation for removing the body, first they take wreaths and a portrait of the deceased out of the house, then the lid of the coffin (with the narrow part forward), and finally the coffin itself (the deceased is carried out feet first). At the same time, thresholds and doorposts should not be touched so that the deceased is not tempted to return home.

“The dead man is alone in the house,” they say as they take him out and lock him in the house for the time being. According to the old tradition, the deceased should not be carried out before noon and after sunset, so that the setting sun could “take” the deceased with it. Relatives should not carry the coffin so that the deceased does not take a blood relative with him to the grave.

After removing the coffin from the house, be sure to wash all the floors (previously, not only the floors, but the whole house were washed with water alone).

The path of the funeral procession to the cemetery is covered with spruce branches, which serve as a talisman, a guarantee that the deceased will not “walk” and will not retrace his steps.

At funerals, it is customary to present those present with pies, sweets, and handkerchiefs. This is nothing more than the distribution of alms, which obliges those who accept it to pray for the deceased. In this case, those praying take on part of the sins of the deceased.

When you come home after a funeral, you need to warm your hands so as not to bring the cold of the grave into the house. After the funeral, no intoxicating drinks are allowed in the mouth for 40 days. At the wake they drink only vodka, and those who come are always fed pancakes and kutya.

For the soul of the deceased, a glass of vodka is placed on the table, covered with a slice of bread. It must stand for 40 days, until the person’s soul has finally left this world.

They don’t stay long at wakes. For six weeks after the funeral, there should be a glass of water on the windowsill, and a towel should hang on the corner of the house, outside the window, so that the soul can bathe and dry itself before the funeral. On the fortieth day, the soul of the deceased comes to his home for the whole day and leaves only after the so-called farewell. If they are not arranged, the deceased will suffer. Six weeks after death, “ladders” of dough are baked to help the soul climb to heaven. According to Russian tradition, in the folk month there are special days on which Orthodox Christians commemorate those who moved to another world.

We must always remember that at a funeral or with the help of funeral paraphernalia, the most severe damage is caused. Therefore, if something incomprehensible happened at a funeral or you suspect something, contact an experienced

to the master. Under no circumstances should you get rid of such damage on your own or through numerous and useless articles on the Internet.

Orthodox traditions and rituals are so closely intertwined with ancient Slavic ones that it is almost impossible to separate one from the other. This is especially true for funeral rites. Remember: always, if someone died in the house, they cover the mirrors. But few people know that this is not an Orthodox tradition, but a pagan one. Father will call such an action superstition, although he will not judge strictly. After all, our roots and connection with our ancestors are so strong that it is easier to close our eyes to something than to try to completely eradicate it.

And yet, you need to follow a certain procedure in order to take a relative on his final journey in the Orthodox way, without paganism and your own speculation.

Preparing for the funeral

Immediately after death, the body is washed while prayers are recited. They dress in clean, preferably new clothes, and put on the cross that the deceased wore during his lifetime. The deceased is placed in a coffin and the body is sprinkled with holy water. The arms are crossed on the chest, making sure that the right is on top of the left.

A crown is placed on the forehead, a cross next to it, and an icon in the hands (the face of the Savior for a man, the Mother of God for a woman). Then the canon is read and a candle or lamp is lit in the house.

After death, Sorokoust is ordered in the church, this is the name of the church commemoration for the repose. This seems to have something to do with the way Orthodox Christians cross themselves - with their right hand only. It is said that everything that comes from the right hand is divine, and everything that comes from the left is demonic. The light of a candle or lamp must be lit all the time the deceased is at home. It is believed that after leaving the body, the soul may be afraid of the darkness, but the light of the flame will calm it down.

To be honest, the funeral rites of the Orthodox begin during life. The fact that our grandmothers “prepared themselves for the funeral” is very Christian: the Church approves when a person prepares for death. This means that he realizes the value of life and humbly accepts his inevitable fate. Therefore, it is not surprising that Orthodox Christians, immediately after the death of a relative, should have new clothes, icons, a corolla, and candles on hand. It is implied that all this was prepared in advance.

Funeral service and burial

A funeral service is not just a prayer for the soul of the deceased. This is the forgiveness of all sins for which the deceased has repented. By the way, this is where the tradition of inviting a priest to his deathbed came from, while the person is still alive, conscious and able to repent. Those sins that the deceased did not have time to confess and ask for forgiveness for, the priest cannot forgive; they “remain with the deceased.”

There are also many prohibitions, which, nevertheless, are often violated in our country. For example, you cannot invite an orchestra to a funeral, cremate a body, bury and have a funeral service on Easter or Christmas. The funeral service takes place in the church, conducted by an authorized person - a priest. Funeral and burial ceremonies take place as follows:

The coffin with the body is brought to the church or chapel at the cemetery and placed in front of the altar.“Eternal Memory” is proclaimed, the priest reads a prayer and absolves the deceased of his sins. At this time, relatives hold candles and pray for the soul of their loved one. When the priest’s prayer is over, the relatives come up to say goodbye, kiss the icon or cross, and walk around the coffin. And here is another common superstition: close relatives should not carry the coffin. At an Orthodox funeral, it is the relatives who carry the body of the deceased; this is a sacred duty and a great honor. After this, the coffin is closed, loaded into a hearse and sent to the cemetery.

In front of the grave, the priest reads a prayer. Relatives throw handfuls of earth onto the coffin. The burial ceremony is completed.

After this they put up an Orthodox cross. They place it not like a traditional monument, but at the feet, so that the face of the deceased is turned towards it. Of course, it is not always possible to hold a funeral exactly on the third day after death or to invite a priest: this is paid, and the amount is far from symbolic. Therefore, funeral services are usually ordered “in absentia.” In this case, the priest himself carries out the necessary rituals and gives the relatives a handful of soil from the funeral service. This soil will need to be poured onto the grave as soon as possible.

Orthodox funeral

After the funeral, a memorial meal is held. If possible, relatives can order a memorial service in a cafe; if not, they commemorate at home. Usually, while the closest relatives go to the cemetery, someone stays behind to cook. For example, you can ask your neighbors to help.

Funeral services are held immediately after the funeral, that is, on the third day after death. If they were buried earlier, they do not commemorate them after the burial; they wait until the third day. If later, then on the day of the burial. On the 9th, 40th days and anniversaries they are also commemorated. By the way, it is prescribed to give alms, pray and perform all sorts of godly deeds for the entire forty days after death - all this is also considered remembrance.

The meal should not be “lavish”; a funeral is not a reason for a banquet. It is forbidden to listen to music, but most importantly, there should be no alcohol at the wake! Let these be simple dishes that can be quickly prepared, because it is better to spend a funeral in prayer or reminiscing about a loved one rather than bothering with housework. For example, traditionally Orthodox Christians commemorate the dead with kutya. This is a simple porridge, pleasant to the taste and, as the holy fathers say, requiring virtually no worldly fuss.

A human funeral is a rite of burial for the deceased, symbolizing farewell and the end of earthly life and the beginning of a new, eternal one. The entire funeral ritual of the Slavs has both Christian and pagan roots, closely intertwined and no longer separated due to centuries-old foundations.

Orthodox funerals in Russia perhaps most fully combine pre-Christian burial traditions with religious rules and burial procedures, and post-funeral traditions.

This is explained by the relative tolerance of Orthodoxy towards pagan remnants and the presence of many social and historical features in various territories of the country.

Commitment and funeral of the deceased in every culture and religion is accompanied by a certain ceremony and rituals. The mysterious and mystical transition from the kingdom of the living to the kingdom of the dead is beyond the scope of human understanding, therefore people, depending on their religious worldview, historical and cultural characteristics, have developed a whole system of rules and traditions during funerals. They should help the deceased get comfortable in the new world - after all, the overwhelming majority of religions and faiths proceed from the fact that death only means the end of the earthly period of existence.

The ritual rite is performed primarily to help the deceased, although at present many mistakenly view the observed customs of burial and commemoration as a desire to support loved ones and relatives, to share with them the bitterness of loss, and to show a sense of respect for the deceased.

Stages of funerals, Orthodox traditions at funerals in Russia include the following main events and rituals, which together represent a sequential burial procedure;

• Preparation;
• farewell;
• funeral service;
• burial;
• remembrance.

Every person has to bury loved ones. It is important to follow the funeral ritual. Russian Orthodox traditions have long been formed (including those that are not currently used or are used in remote areas by Orthodox Christians). There is a mandatory minimum that a person participating in the burial procedure needs to know.

An Orthodox person should know the minimum necessary for the proper organization of a funeral

This information is especially important for believers. Many people come to God in adulthood and do not know some customs, attaching importance to superstitions that are not related to religion and, thereby, not helping the soul of the deceased enter the afterlife. For non-believers, observing traditions is important out of a sense of respect for the deceased and those gathered to see him off.

Preparation for burial

Preparation is the pre-funeral stage of a funeral, which includes several component ritual events. When preparing a body for burial, some pagan customs are also observed. Death in Christianity is seen as the beginning of the road to a new life, so the deceased must be prepared and collected for the road. Preparing the body of the deceased for the unearthly journey has both religious and mystical content, as well as a sanitary and hygienic component.

Washing the body

The deceased must appear before the Creator pure both spiritually and physically.

The mystical component of the ritual is that washing the body had to be performed by certain people - the washers.

They could not be closely related to the deceased, so that tears would not fall on the body. Mourning the deceased is not compatible with the Christian understanding of death as a transition to eternal life and a meeting with God. There is a belief that a mother's tears burn a dead child. The washers were chosen from among old maids and widows who were clean and did not commit bodily sins. For work, linen and clothes of the deceased were given as a reward.

The body was washed on the floor at the threshold of the house, the deceased was positioned with his feet towards the stove. Warm water, comb and soap were used. It was believed that otherworldly dead forces were transferred to the things used during washing, so it was necessary to get rid of them as soon as possible. Pots containing water for washing, combs, and soap residues were thrown into a ravine and taken to crossroads and beyond the field. The used water was considered dead and was poured out in the far corner of the yard, where no people walked and nothing was planted.

All these traditions are a reflection of the mystical component of the pagan understanding of death and fear of the otherworldly light.

Compliance with such rituals was necessary to ensure that the dead did not come from the other world and take their loved ones with them. The Christian meaning lies in the need for purification before God not only of the soul, but also of the body. Modern washing in the morgue has a purely sanitary and hygienic content.

Deceased's vestment

Nowadays, it is traditional to dress the deceased man in a dark suit and white shirt, and for women in light-colored clothes. However, in the era of Ancient Rus' and the Middle Ages, everyone was buried in white. This tradition combined both Christian ideas about the purity of the soul and the traditional white robes adopted in Rus'.

Traditionally, the deceased is dressed in white.

For burial, the best clothes of the deceased are chosen; special funeral sets or new suits and dresses are often purchased, which also symbolizes the purity of a person before God. The feet are put on white slippers without hard soles - a familiar symbol of funeral supplies. It is prohibited to use the clothes of relatives or other people. Women's heads are covered with a scarf, which is combined with Christian and cultural traditions, and a man is wearing a wreath with a prayer.

Certain traditions are observed in relation to deceased young girls and boys who did not have time to get married.

The death of a young person is always an exceptional event. Premature death at the most active age causes special regret and sadness. Unmarried girls, both in the old days and now, are buried in white, and often in wedding dresses, with a veil placed in the coffin. The funeral of the bride may be accompanied by some wedding customs - drinking champagne, singing wedding songs.

For deceased young people who did not have time to get married, wedding rings are put on the ring finger of the right hand. The dressing up of young people occurs in the same way as in preparation for a wedding ceremony. Similar traditions exist not only in the Orthodox world.

Entombment

After washing and vesting, the deceased is placed on a bench facing the icons, spread with straw or something soft. Silence must be maintained in the house; telephones and audio-video equipment must be turned off. Mirrors, glass surfaces other than windows (cabinet and sideboard doors, interior doors, etc.) should be covered with white paper or cloth, photographs and paintings should be removed or hung.

The coffin (the obsolete name domovin - from the word “house”) is considered as the last earthly refuge of a person. This element is given a lot of attention in the funeral procedure.

In ancient times, coffins could be made in one piece from a tree trunk. In its usual form, this ritual object is made of boards; modern materials (chipboard, plastic, etc.), metals can only be used for decoration and decoration (with the exception of zinc coffins in certain cases). Any type of wood except aspen can be used for production. The inside of the coffin is covered with soft material. Expensive coffins can be polished, decorated with valuable materials and upholstered with soft coverings. The body is placed on a white cover - a sheet or cloth. A small pillow is placed under the head. The prepared coffin can be considered as an imitation of a bed; the deceased is laid out in such a way that it is “comfortable”. Sometimes women during their lifetime prepare a pillow for their coffin, stuffed with their own hair.

The coffin in the Christian tradition is an imitation of a bed

Those who are baptized are buried with a cross. An icon, a crown on the forehead and a “handwriting” - a written or printed prayer for the remission of sins - are placed in the coffin. It is placed in the right hand of the deceased, and a candle is placed on the chest in crossed arms. The deceased can be given things that he constantly used or especially treasured during his lifetime. It has become common to be buried with cell phones.

Previously, mittens were worn to transfer the body into the coffin, and the house was constantly fumigated with incense. Before the coffin is taken out, you cannot throw garbage out of the house - this custom is observed in our time.

Seeing off the deceased

Seeing off the deceased is also a symbiosis of Orthodox rituals, mystical beliefs and traditions and takes place in several stages. Currently, modern traditions are closely intertwined with established old customs, which include:

• installation of a portrait and awards of the deceased at the coffin, their demonstration in the funeral procession;
• farewell speeches;
• placing photographs on gravestones and crosses;
• funeral music, singing, fireworks;
• condolences through the media, etc.

Farewell to the deceased

The coffin is placed in the room on a table covered with a cloth, or on stools with the feet facing the door. The lid is located vertically with a narrow part towards the floor in the corridor, often on the landing. For 3 days, the coffin with the body of the deceased must remain in the house.

Relatives, friends, acquaintances and neighbors come to visit the deceased. The doors don't close. At night, relatives and friends should gather around the coffin to say goodbye to the deceased, remember his worldly life, the events in which the deceased was a participant.

Previously, it was mandatory for relatives or specially invited persons (not necessarily priests) to read the psalter over the coffin. Now the observance of this tradition is left to the discretion of the closest relatives. The canon “Following the departure of the soul from the body” should be read over the deceased.

If there are icons in the house, you need to place a glass of water in front of them, covered with a piece of bread. Water and bread can be installed on the windowsill. It is believed that the soul of the deceased does not immediately leave the earth. The food and drink on display may reflect both pagan sacrifice to the spirit of the deceased and Christian ideas about the soul's stay on earth after death for 40 days - a clear example of the interweaving of pagan and Christian rituals. A candle is lit at the head of the coffin on a table or other elevation, and a lamp should burn in front of the images. Candles can be placed in the corners of the house.

A portrait with a black ribbon is placed at the head of the coffin, awards are placed on a cushion at the feet. Wreaths are lined up along the walls of the room; a wreath from relatives is placed at the feet between the coffin and the pillow with awards. People who come to say goodbye usually do not take off their shoes. You need to stand or sit near the coffin for some time; only relatives gather with the deceased for a long time or throughout the night. In the room with the deceased, chairs or benches should be installed along the coffin. Farewell is carried out until the body is removed.

Currently, the tradition of a three-day farewell is not observed in megalopolises and large cities, but in small urban settlements and rural areas it has been preserved everywhere.

Observance of the three-day farewell is at the discretion of the relatives and depends on the actual circumstances in which the burial takes place.

Often the body for burial is taken from the morgue already prepared, and the procession immediately goes to the church or cemetery. The clergy do not insist on strict observance of all this does not affect.

Removal of the body and funeral procession

The removal of the body is scheduled no earlier than 12 - 13 hours and with the expectation that the burial takes place before sunset. Usually they try to carry out the removal before 14:00. They carry out the deceased feet first, without touching the threshold and door frames, which should protect against the return of the dead person. There is another special protective rite - replacing the place of the deceased. It is necessary to sit for some time on the table or stools on which the coffin was located, and then turn them upside down for a day.

Removal of the body begins at 12 - 13 o'clock

Before the removal, those who came to say goodbye and see them off on their final journey line up along the route of the procession. Initially, wreaths, a portrait of the deceased, a pillow with orders and medals, and a coffin lid are taken out of the house. After 10 - 15 minutes, the coffin is taken out and carried to the hearse, and relatives come out behind the coffin. Before the hearse, the coffin is placed on stools for a few minutes and left open to give an opportunity to say goodbye to those people who have not been home and are not going to the funeral service or the cemetery.

In the hearse, the coffin is placed on a special pedestal with the head forward, and wreaths are laid.

A specific custom during the removal is mourning for the deceased, and it is often non-relatives or close people who mourn. Lamentations over the coffin and tears, according to tradition, should characterize the personality of the deceased. The better the relationships with others and respect from society, the more crying. In the old days, there were special mourners who were specially invited to the ceremony. Folklore has also preserved funeral laments - songs-lamentations, which were performed in an annoying howling voice.

The funeral procession from the door of the house to the hearse is lined up in the following order:

• orchestra;
• master of ceremonies;
• a man carrying a portrait;
• people carrying pillows with awards of the deceased;
• people with wreaths;
• people carrying the coffin lid;
• pallbearers;
• close relatives;
• others saying goodbye.

There was an interesting ritual of the first meeting, personifying the unity of earthly and unearthly life. The ritual consisted in the fact that the first person encountered by the procession was given bread, which he wrapped in a towel. The gifted one had to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. It was assumed that the deceased should be the first to meet in another world the person who was presented with bread. Along the route of the procession with the coffin, grain was scattered for the birds. The presence of birds was considered a good sign, and sometimes they were identified with the souls of the dead.

According to church canons, the funeral procession could only stop at the church and near the cemetery. Often, traffic slowed down or stopped when passing any memorial or significant places and objects for the deceased: near the house of a recently deceased neighbor or relative, at crossroads, at crosses, etc. As they passed through such places, some of the mourners could drop out.

This custom is to some extent combined with traditions associated with the 40-day stay of the soul of the deceased on earth. During this period, the soul visits the most significant places for a person in earthly life.

Immediate family members are not allowed to carry the coffin. Most often, porters are either specially invited people, or friends, colleagues and distant relatives. The ritual of wearing a coffin is very different from what existed previously. What remains common is that the further the coffin is carried in the arms, the more respected the position of the deceased was. Along the route of the coffin, fresh flowers are scattered - carnations for the deceased man and roses for women and girls.

Funeral service

The deceased is buried on the 3rd day after death, except for the days of Holy Easter and the Nativity of Christ. The ceremony is carried out only once, in contrast to memorial services, which can be served both before and after burial several times. Only baptized people are allowed to perform funeral services. Those who renounced the faith or were excommunicated from the church, or suicides, cannot be inveterate. In completely exceptional cases, the latter can be inveterate with the blessing of the bishop.

Suicides are not buried in church

To perform the ceremony, the coffin with the deceased is brought into the church and placed with its head towards the altar. Those gathered are nearby, holding burning church candles in their hands. The priest proclaims Eternal Memory and reads a prayer of permission, which absolves the deceased from unfulfilled vows and sins committed during his lifetime. The prayer of permission does not forgive sins for which the deceased did not consciously want to repent; only those admitted in confession or which the deceased did not report due to ignorance or forgetfulness can be forgiven.

A piece of paper with the words of prayer is placed in the hands of the deceased.

At the end of the prayer, those gathered put out the candles and walk around the coffin with the body, kiss the aureole on the forehead and the icon on the chest, and ask for forgiveness from the deceased. After the farewell is over, the body is covered with a shroud. The coffin is closed with a lid, and after the funeral service it can no longer be opened. With the singing of the Trisagion, the deceased is taken out of the temple, the procession moves to the burial place. There is a procedure if it is not possible to deliver the deceased to the temple or invite a clergyman home.

Burial

The burial must end before sunset. By the time the body is delivered to the burial site, the grave must be ready. If the burial is carried out without a funeral service, the coffin is closed near the dug grave, having previously given those gathered the opportunity to finally say goodbye to the deceased. Last speeches are made over the open coffin, the virtues and good deeds of the deceased are remembered. The coffin is lowered into the grave on long towels. Those gathered take turns throwing a handful of earth onto the lid of the coffin; relatives go first. You can briefly pray to yourself with the words: May God rest the soul of your newly departed servant (name), and forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant him the Kingdom of Heaven. This prayer is also performed at a funeral dinner before a new dish.

May be accompanied by a number of customs and ritual actions:

1. Together with the coffin, church candles that burned in the church during the funeral ceremony are lowered into the grave.
2. Small coins are thrown into the grave. This custom is interpreted as the purchase by the deceased of a place in the cemetery from the “owner” of the underworld or a place in the next world, payment for passage to the other world.
3. After burial, a tear shawl is left on the grave.

These customs have pagan roots, but do not contradict Orthodox canons.

A temporary Orthodox cross or obelisk, or other sign with a photograph of the deceased, name and dates of life, is installed on the burial mound. A permanent monument can be erected no earlier than the next year after the burial. The grave is usually buried by cemetery workers - diggers. After the burial, custom dictates that the workers be treated to traditional funeral dishes and vodka for the repose of their souls. Leftover food is scattered on the grave to attract birds.

The funeral of military personnel, participants in war and hostilities, and law enforcement officers is accompanied by a small arms salute.

In the old days there was an interesting ritual - hidden alms. For 40 days after the burial, relatives secretly placed alms on the windows and porches of poor neighbors - bread, eggs, pancakes, pieces of canvas, etc. The gifted were supposed to pray for the deceased, and it was believed that they took part of the sins to themselves. The distribution of alms is also associated with the customs of distributing tear scarves, pies, and sweets. in some places new wooden spoons were distributed so that the deceased would be remembered every time they ate. Wealthy relatives could make large donations for a new bell (it was believed that the bell could rescue a sinful soul from hell). There was a custom to give a rooster to a neighbor so that it would sing for the sins of the deceased.

Remembrance

The funeral ends with a memorial dinner, to which everyone is invited. Funerals serve not only to remember the deceased, but also represent the continuation of life. The funeral meal has certain features in the choice and sequence of dishes. The basis, the head of nutrition in Russian traditions was bread and flour products. The wake begins and ends with pancakes or pancakes with honey and kutia. Kutya, depending on local characteristics, is prepared from wheat grains boiled in honey, rice with sugar and raisins.

For the first course, meat cabbage soup or soup must be served. For the second course, prepare porridge (barley, millet) or potatoes with meat. Fish and jelly can be served as separate appetizers. On fasting days, meat is replaced with fish and mushrooms. Serving a sweet third is required. In accordance with old traditions, the third should be oatmeal jelly, but nowadays it is replaced with compote. Separate snacks can include fried fish and jelly. At the wake, people are treated to vodka; women can be offered wine.

A mandatory attribute is pies with meat, cabbage, and sweets. Pies are distributed to those present so that they can treat them to their families.

Funeral services are held on days 9 and 40. Day 9 means turning to the 9 angelic ranks, which act as those asking God for leniency and mercy for a sinful soul. From the 9th day after the funeral to the 40th, the soul is doomed to wander through ordeals, which is a visit to various places where sins were committed. Angels must help the soul overcome sinful obstacles on the way to the other world. The Creator does not initially assign the soul to either hell or heaven. Within 40 days, the deceased atones for his sins, and an assessment is made of the good and evil he has done. The funeral takes place in the form of a funeral meal. During the wake, the house is cleaned in the same way as during the farewell to the deceased within 3 days after death.

Day 40 is the last day of the soul’s stay in this world. On this day, the Supreme Court is held, the soul returns for a while to its former home and remains there until the funeral service. If the send-off is not arranged, the deceased will suffer. On the 40th day, the further extraterrestrial life of a person is determined. There is a custom to hang a towel in the corner of the house for 40 days. The soul, returning home after the ordeal, wipes itself with a towel and rests.

Sweet pies are an obligatory dish at the funeral table.

Prayer can alleviate the lot of a sinful soul in extraterrestrial life, so the relatives of the deceased order a funeral service (mass) in the church with the remembrance of the deceased for 6 weeks after death - Sorokoust. Instead of mass, you can order the reading of the magpie to a reader, who reads the canon for 40 days in the house of the deceased. The names of the dead are recorded in the annual commemoration - synodik.

Mourning for the head of the family is observed for a longer period of time than for the elderly. Outwardly, mourning is expressed by wearing dark clothes.

Women wear a black headscarf for 40 days after the funeral. During the period of mourning, they often visit the deceased in the cemetery, go to church, and refuse entertainment events and celebrations. Longer periods of mourning characterize the severity of the loss. Mothers of deceased children and young widows observe mourning for up to a year or more. For deceased elderly parents or an elderly spouse, mourning can be reduced to 6 weeks. Men adhere to mourning clothing to participate in funeral rites; on other days, mourning is not outwardly expressed.

Based on the book by I. Pankeev “Customs and Traditions of the Russian People”
Based on the book by A. Aksenov. "Fast for soul and body"

Every person on this earth has two most important events in life - birth and death. Between these two events lies life.

For one person it is long, for another it is short, but in their lives people, as a rule, drive away the thought of death, thinking that they will live forever. But then death comes, and with it the inevitable bitter worries about burying someone dear to you.

At the moment of death, a person experiences painful feelings of fear when the soul leaves the body. When leaving the body, the soul meets the Guardian Angel given to it during Holy Baptism, and demons. Relatives and friends of the dying person should try to alleviate his mental suffering with prayer, but under no circumstances should they scream or cry loudly.

The death of a loved one, especially a sudden, unexpected one, is not only a great grief, but also numerous worries that fall on the head of the widow or widower, which are very difficult to cope with alone: ​​you need to draw up documents, give telegrams to relatives, order a coffin, go to the cemetery, think about other features of the ritual, get transport, etc.

First of all, the closest relatives are informed about the death of a family member so that they have time to say goodbye to the deceased before the funeral and, to the extent possible, help organize the funeral.

If you receive such a message, it means that the person who sent it is counting not only on words of condolences, but also on your real help, therefore, you need to come and offer your services.

Family members of the deceased decide for themselves whether the funeral will be large, with the participation of colleagues and friends of the deceased, or narrow, purely family. It depends on when to advertise in the newspaper and whether to advertise at all.

If the funeral is family, then the death notice is published after the funeral or cremation has taken place.

A condolence visit is only made if you know that it is needed, that it is expected, and that it can help the widow or other family members of the deceased. Otherwise, there is no need to worry people again.

The heads of organizations where the deceased previously worked should offer their assistance in organizing the funeral.

It goes without saying that people come to funerals in dark, black clothes, and in the house of the deceased they do not speak loudly and excitedly, much less laugh.

When a person leaves this world for eternity, a special canon is read over him, “The Canon of Prayer for the Exodus of the Soul,” which is written on behalf of the dying person, but can be read by a priest or someone close to him. People also call it the “departure prayer.”

It is not necessary to read it next to the dying person. If a person dies in a hospital, the canon can be read at home. The main thing is to support the soul with prayer in its most difficult moments. If a Christian gives up the ghost during the reading of the canon, then it is finished with the funeral refrain: “Rest, O Lord, to the soul of Thy departed servant...

In cases where the dying illness lasts a long time, bringing severe suffering to both the sick person and his relatives, then, with the blessing of the priest, another canon can be read - “The rite performed for the separation of the soul from the body, when a person suffers for a long time” (Literature is available in church shop)

• Not often, but it happens that a person thinks about his future death and prepares a coffin for himself in advance. Such a product is usually stored in attics. But here there is a small but very significant “but”: the coffin is empty, and since it is made according to a person’s standards, he begins to “pull” it into himself. And a person, as a rule, dies faster. Previously, to prevent this from happening, sawdust, shavings, and grain were poured into an empty coffin. After the death of a person, sawdust, shavings, and grain were also buried in the hole. After all, if you feed a bird with such grain, it will become sick.
• When a person has died and measurements are taken from him to make a coffin, under no circumstances should the measurement be placed on the bed. It is best to take it out of the house and put it in a coffin during the funeral.
• Be sure to remove all silver objects from the deceased: after all, this is precisely the metal that is used to fight “the unclean.” Therefore, the latter can “disturb” the body of the deceased.
• If there is a dead person in the house, do not do laundry. This must be done after the funeral.
• When the coffin is being made, relatives and friends are prohibited from participating. It is best to bury the shavings formed during the manufacture of the coffin in the ground, or, in extreme cases, throw them into water, but only burn them.
• The bed on which a person died does not need to be thrown away, as many do. Take her and take her out to the chicken coop, let her lie there for three nights, so that, as the legend goes, the rooster will sing her song three times.

When the time comes to place the deceased in a coffin, then they sprinkle holy water on the body of the deceased and his coffin, outside and inside. You can also cover it with incense. The body is then transferred to the coffin. A whisk is placed on the forehead of the deceased. It is given in church when the deceased is brought to the funeral service. The deceased's lips should be closed, his eyes closed, his hands folded crosswise on his chest, the right one on top of the left. A Christian woman's head is covered with a large scarf that completely covers her hair, and its ends do not need to be tied, but simply folded crosswise. You should not put a tie on a deceased Orthodox Christian. An icon or cross is placed in the left hand of the deceased; for men - the image of the savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God. Or you can do this: in the left hand - a cross, and on the chest of the deceased - a Holy image. A pillow, usually made of cotton wool, is placed under the feet and head of the deceased. The body is covered with a sheet. The coffin is placed in the middle of the room in front of the icons, turning the face of the deceased with his head towards the icons.

• When you see a dead person in a coffin, do not automatically touch your body with your hands. This is due to the fact that in the place where you touched your hand, various skin growths in the form of a tumor can grow.
• If there is a deceased person in the house, then when meeting your friend or relatives there, you should greet with a bow of the head, and not with your voice.
• While the deceased is in the house, the floor should not be swept. If you do not follow this advice, then members of your family may soon get sick, or worse will happen.
• Do not listen to those people who advise placing two needles crosswise on his lips to preserve the body of a deceased person from decomposition. This will not save the body of the deceased, but the needles that were on his lips will definitely disappear; they are used to cause damage.
• To prevent a heavy smell from coming from the deceased, you can put a bunch of sage on his head; people call it “cornflowers.” It also serves another purpose - to drive away "evil spirits." For the same purposes, you can use willow branches, which are sacred on Palm Sunday and kept behind the images. These branches can be placed under the deceased.
• A man died, his body was placed in a coffin, but the bed on which he died had not yet been taken out. Friends or strangers may come to you and ask you to lie on this bed. The argument put forward is the following: so that their back and bones do not hurt. Don't listen to them. Don't hurt yourself.
• Do not put fresh flowers in the coffin of a dead person. For this purpose, use artificial ones or, as a last resort, dried ones.

A candle is lit near the coffin as a sign that the deceased has moved to the realm of light - a better afterlife.

After the body of the deceased is washed and dressed, they begin to read the canon called “Sequence on the departure of the soul from the body.” The canon is read only for the person who died on that day. Then, for three days, the Psalter is read over the deceased. The Psalter is read continuously over the Christian's tomb until the deceased remains unburied. Any pious layman can read the Psalter for the deceased.

A lamp or candle is lit in the house and burns as long as the deceased is in the house.

• Instead of a candlestick, glasses are often used for candles, into which wheat is poured. Some people sprinkle this wheat on others and thereby cause damage. This wheat should also not be used for poultry or livestock feed.
• Make sure that someone else's things are not placed under the deceased. If you notice this, then you need to pull them out of the coffin and burn them somewhere far away.
• It happens that, out of ignorance, some compassionate mothers put photographs of their children in the coffin of their grandparents. After this, the child began to get sick, and if help was not provided in time, death could occur.
• You cannot give your things to dress the deceased. The dead man is buried, and the one who gave away his belongings begins to get sick.

Shortly before the coffin is taken out of the house (or the body is handed over to the morgue), “Sequence on the departure of the soul from the body” is read again. The coffin is taken out of the house, turning the face of the deceased towards the exit. When the body is carried out, the mourners sing a song in honor of the Holy Trinity: “Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us.”

• If a coffin with a deceased person is taken out of the house, and someone stands near the door and starts tying knots in rags. He explains this operation to people by saying that he is tying knots so that no more coffins will be taken out of this house. Although such a person has something completely different on his mind...
• If a pregnant woman goes to a funeral, she will do harm to herself. A sick child may be born. Therefore, try to stay at home during this time, and you need to say goodbye to your loved one in advance - before the funeral.
• When a dead person is being carried to a cemetery, do not cross his path under any circumstances, as various tumors may form on your body. If this happens, then you should take the hand of the deceased, always the right one, and move all your fingers over the tumor and read “Our Father”. This needs to be done three times, after each time spitting over your left shoulder.
• When they carry a dead man in a coffin down the street, try not to look out of the window of your apartment. By doing this you will save yourself from troubles and will not get sick.

In the church, the coffin with the body of the deceased is placed in the middle of the church facing the altar and candles are lit on four sides of the coffin. Relatives and friends of the deceased walk around the coffin with the body, bowing and asking for forgiveness for involuntary insults, kissing the deceased for the last time (the corolla on his forehead or the icon on his chest). After this, the entire body is covered with a sheet and the priest sprinkles earth on it in a cross shape. When the body and coffin are taken out of the temple, the face of the deceased is turned towards the exit.

It happens that the church is located far from the home of the deceased, then a funeral service is held for him in absentia. Relatives of the deceased order a funeral service at the nearest church. After the funeral service, the relatives are given a chaplet, a prayer of permission and soil from the funeral table.

At home, relatives place a prayer of permission into the right hand of the deceased, a paper aureole is placed on the forehead, and after farewell, in the cemetery, the body of the deceased is covered with a sheet from head to toe, as in a church, in a cross shape (from head to feet, from right shoulder to left - to get a cross of the correct shape) is sprinkled with earth.

The deceased is buried facing east. The cross on the grave is placed at the feet of the buried person so that the crucifix is ​​facing the face of the deceased.

The farewell ceremony can be with or without speeches. But in any case, family and friends are on the right, and everyone else is on the left, when viewed from the side of the head.

Usually people come to funerals with flowers or wreaths, which are placed around the coffin. Then the wreaths are carried in front of the hearse and laid on the grave so that the mourning ribbons and inscriptions on them are visible; They decorate the grave with flowers, sometimes they are thrown on the coffin covered with earth.

The first wreaths are carried by the relatives of the deceased, and the relatives are the first to go behind the coffin.

Those who come to the house or cemetery must express their condolences to the family and friends of the deceased. Relatives can silently hug the widow, friends can shake hands, acquaintances can bow. Men bare their heads (in the cold season, it is allowed not to remove hats on the street, exposing their heads only in the cemetery, when the coffin is lowered into the grave).

The rules of good manners require that, when leaving the cemetery, you once again express your condolences to the relatives of the deceased and offer your help.

Wreaths and flowers are placed around the coffin and along the walls, depending on the wishes of the family of the deceased.

If the deceased was awarded orders and medals during his lifetime, then red pillows with awards are placed near the portrait. An honor guard with mourning bands (ribbons) on the left sleeve is placed on both sides of the coffin.

To say goodbye to the deceased, the coffin is most often installed in his apartment or in the club of the organization where he worked, or in a room specially allocated for this purpose.

At the appointed time, access to the room where the coffin with the body of the deceased is located is opened.

Representatives of local organizations are at the coffin. In moments of farewell, mourning singing or music sounds quietly. Where possible, professional and amateur choirs and orchestras should be involved.

15-20 minutes before the removal of the coffin, only relatives and friends remain in the room to say goodbye to the deceased.

Persons carrying the coffin and lid wear mourning armbands.

To the sound of a choir or orchestra, a portrait is brought out, followed by wreaths, awards on pillows, a lid, and a coffin. The funeral procession heads to the burial site.

If the procession moves to the cemetery in cars, then on the first hearse there is a coffin with the deceased, his portrait, awards and a banner. The hearse is followed by cars with family and friends, then with the rest of the participants in the procession. It is advisable to send a choir or orchestra in advance, so that it meets the main procession at the cemetery.

In large cities, the funeral procession in cars moves in accordance with traffic rules.

Civil funeral services are held in cemeteries, in a funeral hall or on a funeral platform.

Civil funeral service- this is the rendering of the last debt and honor to the deceased by the team, the public, and relatives. The civil memorial service is opened by the chairman of the funeral committee with a brief introductory speech.

The chairman of the commission gives the floor to a representative of the administration, who talks about the work activity, achievements in work, the life path of the deceased and what he left behind to people on earth.

A representative of the public speaks about the merits of the deceased, about his moral qualities.

The floor is given to a representative of the younger generation.

One of the friends of the deceased addresses those present with brief memories. He talks about the journey of life shared together, reveals the bright character traits of his friend, talks about him as an attentive and caring person, a father, remembers his favorite pastime and hobby.

Funeral music is playing. Funeral participants form a grave mound. A gravestone plaque is temporarily installed on it indicating the last name, first name and patronymic, in the most visible place - a portrait, then flowers and wreaths.

After the end of the funeral service, the funeral procession or the organizer of the funeral ritual must take care of the relatives of the deceased, and also, on their behalf, thank those present for their sympathy and assistance provided.

After the funeral, the relatives and friends of the deceased should not be left alone with their grief. They need a heart-to-heart conversation, friendly sympathy.”

• The ties that bind the hands and feet of the deceased must be untied and placed in the coffin with the deceased. Otherwise, as a rule, they are used to cause damage.
• If you say goodbye to the deceased, try not to step on this towel, which is placed in the cemetery near the coffin, so as not to cause damage to yourself.
• If you are afraid of a dead person, grab the dead person's legs and hold on. This can be done before he is placed in the grave.
• Sometimes people can throw earth from a grave in their bosom or collar, proving that this way they can avoid the fear of the dead. Don't believe it - this is done to cause damage.
• When the coffin with the body of the deceased is lowered into the grave on towels, these towels must be left in the grave, and not used for various household needs or given to anyone.
• When lowering the coffin with the body into the grave, all those accompanying the deceased on his final journey before burying the grave throw a lump of earth into it.
• After the ritual of committing the body to the earth, it must be taken to the grave and poured out in a cross shape. And if you are lazy, don’t go to the cemetery and take the soil for this ritual from your yard, then you will do very bad things to yourself.
• In recent decades, we have developed the custom of burying people with music. This is not Christian. The deceased must be buried with a priest.
• It happens that a person was buried, but the body was not buried (that is, the required burial rituals were not followed). To do this, you need not to be lazy, but go to the grave and take a handful of earth from there, with which you can then go to church.
• It is advisable, in order to avoid any troubles, to sprinkle the house or apartment where the deceased lived with blessed water. This must be done immediately after the funeral. It is also necessary to sprinkle such water on the people who participated in the funeral procession.
• Returning from a funeral, it is imperative to dust off your shoes before entering the house, and also hold your hands over the fire of a lit candle. This is done in order to prevent damage to the home.

The funeral is over, and according to the old Christian custom, water and something from food are placed in a glass on the table to treat the soul of the deceased.

• Make sure that small children or adults do not inadvertently drink from this glass or eat anything. After such a treat, both adults and children begin to get sick.
• During the wake, according to tradition, a glass of vodka is poured for the deceased. Don't drink it if anyone advises you to. It would be better if you poured vodka on the grave.
• If one of you has lost a loved one or loved one, and you often cry for him, I advise you to have thistle grass in your house. You can use another method to worry less about your deceased loved one. It is necessary to find the headdress (scarf or hat) that the deceased wore, light it in front of the front door and go around all the rooms one by one, reading the “Our Father” aloud. After this, take the remains of the burnt headdress out of the apartment, burn them completely and bury them in the ground.
• There is a dead man on your street, and you urgently need to plant potatoes. Don't waste your time and effort. If you plant potatoes at a time when the deceased has not yet been buried, do not expect a good harvest.
• If you came to the grave of a loved one to pull out the grass, paint the fence or plant something. You start digging and unearth things that shouldn’t be there. In this case, everything you found must be taken out of the cemetery and burned. When it burns, try not to get exposed to the smoke, otherwise you may get sick yourself.
• If the bouquet, before being given, lay on the grave in the cemetery all night, then such flowers do not bring joy, but grief.

After a funeral, family members often gather close relatives and friends of the deceased for a wake.

A significant part of the table conversation is devoted to the commemoration of the deceased, memories of him, and kind words aimed at consoling relatives.

After the funeral of a loved one, many mourn. The deepest mourning - up to a year - is worn by a widow. At this time, she is wearing only black clothes and no jewelry. Naturally, thoughts of remarriage are also considered indecent until the period of mourning has expired.

A widower mourns for six months. Children observe mourning for their deceased father or mother: six months - deep mourning, three months - ordinary mourning, and three months - semi-mourning, when gray and white are mixed with black in clothes. They wear six-month mourning for grandparents: three months - deep mourning, three months - semi-mourning. Also - by brother and sister.

If the wedding of one of the relatives occurs during the period of family mourning, then on the wedding day the mourning attire is removed and put on again the next day. In summer, light suits are allowed, but with a black ribbon.

People do not go to public places of entertainment during deep mourning. And it is recommended to appear in the theater and at balls only after completely removing mourning.

An arbitrary shortening of mourning immediately catches the eye of those who know you and can cause condemnation. But, while wearing mourning, there is also no need to show boundless grief: everything should be done with dignity, for the meaning of mourning is not only in maintaining external decency, but also in the fact that it is a time for a person to deepen into himself, a time for thinking about the meaning of life. Ultimately, just as we honor the memory of our loved ones, others may also honor our memory, for no one in this world is eternal.

Publications in the Traditions section

Funeral rites in Rus'

In Rus', a person’s farewell to another world was revered no less than his birth. We will tell you about the most unusual, interesting, and sometimes surprising funeral rites that scientists learned about from expeditions. Some of these rituals are still observed today.

Potassium permanganate, eggs and “magic” soap

Leonid Solomatkin. After the funeral. 1869

In the village of Srednyaya Sukhona, Vologda Region, the custom of preparing for death was popular. The old people prepared their death clothes in advance, expressed wishes about where and how to bury them, and how to commemorate them.

To better preserve the body of the deceased, a basin of cold water was placed under the table or bench, in which manganese was dissolved; raw eggs were placed near the ears of the deceased, which were thrown into the grave pit during burial.

There was a belief here that soap, after washing the deceased, acquired healing and magical properties: it was stored and later used in the treatment of diseases in people and animals. If your hands get sick, wash your hands with soap, saying: “Hey, man, it doesn’t hurt, and it doesn’t hurt me, and it doesn’t hurt me.”.

Spending the night over a dead person, “purchasing” a new place of residence

Vasily Perov. Seeing off the deceased. 1865

In the village of Cheryomukha, Bryansk region, it was customary to sit/spend the night over a dead person at night - to go to havturas. The sittings were usually attended by older women, many of whom knew the church prayers. They came here without an invitation.

At six in the morning the deceased’s face was uncovered and washed with holy water; women, waiting for relatives, went out into the street and shouted: “They open it, wash it, go out into the street, talk, shout, wherever they come, hooting.”.

At the cemetery, coins were thrown into the grave, which was always dug by strangers, before lowering the coffin - they “bought off” the place. A funeral meal was also held here, with a small towel (bed) and tablecloth laid on the grave. And then the bed and tablecloth were taken home. Until the 40th day after death, the tablecloth could not be washed, and after 40 days the bed was given to the church.

“Bad” water, nettles and metal objects

Marc Chagall. Dead. 1908

In the village of Novosoldatka, Voronezh region, the deceased was washed and dressed two hours after death. Both relatives and strangers could wash the deceased; there was a ban only on children washing their mother. It was believed that this water acquired special properties; touching it could have a negative effect on a person, so it was poured into places where people could not step on it, for example, under a fence.

The hands and feet of a deceased person lying on a bench were tied, and they were untied only in the cemetery, before the coffin was lowered into the grave. Magical actions were performed on the deceased in order to preserve the body longer. For example, under the bench on which the deceased lay, they always placed some metal object (most often an ax or a lock), and covered the deceased with nettles.

At night, while the deceased was in the house, it was not allowed to sleep. At midnight, a funeral meal was held, at the end of which the face of the deceased was covered. According to traditional beliefs, this is due to the fact that “if he is not covered, he will not sleep, but will disturb the living.”

Length of legs, burnt straw and lamentations

Vasily Perov. Return of peasants from funerals in winter. 1880s

In Osinovitsa, in the Smolensk region, they compared the length of the legs of the deceased: if his left leg is longer, a woman will die next in the village, and if his right leg is longer, a man will die.

A pillow was placed under the head of the deceased, which was stuffed with dry leaves from birch brooms. They laid the deceased on a bench on straw covered with white linen. After the funeral, this straw was taken to the field and burned, watching where the smoke would go: “If it’s on the house, then it’s good, but if it’s near the field, then, they say, everything will be pulled along with it, the house will be bad, empty.”

After the deceased was washed and placed on a bench, they began to lament and wail. But certain prohibitions were imposed on the performance of lamentations. It was forbidden to shout in the dark and especially at night. Pregnant women were not supposed to vocalize, “otherwise the child would be restless.”

“Orders” and white scarves

Alexey Korzukhin. Funeral service at the cemetery. 1865

One of the local ethnographic groups of the Russian population, which attracted the attention of researchers back in the 19th century, is the Goryuny living in the western part of the Kursk Posemye, in the Putivl (and earlier in the Belopol) districts of the Sumy region of Ukraine. This territory was part of the Kursk province until 1925.

The most specific features of the funeral tradition of the Goryuns include the custom of burying the dead in gardens, within the area of ​​residence.

In addition, all the women of the village participate in mourning the deceased.

In the warm season, residents came to funerals wearing white scarves. This is an old custom, captured in photographs from the 1920s and 1970s. It is the loud sound of funeral lamentations that notifies all residents of the death of a fellow villager. The washed and dressed deceased is placed on a bench with his head in a corner, with men against the front wall of the house, and women against the right side facing the yard. They start wailing - or, as they say here, ordering - from the threshold when they come into the house to say goodbye to the deceased.

“Readers” and spiritual poems

Karl Friedman. Funeral. 1966

The main musical and folklore genre of modern funeral and memorial rites in the village of Epikhino, Shatura district, are spiritual poems. They are sung alternately with the reading of the Psalms before the funeral ( “They didn’t leave the funeral home, they read all this”), on “devyatinki” (ninth day), “fortieth day”, “six months” and on “godina” (year) from the day of death.

The guardians of spiritual verses are older women (over 60 years old). In everyday life they are called “readers”, “readers” or “spiritual” ( “When the spiritual people gather, they don’t discuss what is creative in the world, but sing everything about God”, and the poems themselves are “divine songs”, sometimes “poems”, or they say about them: “divine” ( “they sing “divine” throughout Lent, but songs and skormnayas are not allowed”).