Before you make a choice. The right choice: what skills will be useful

Hello, dear readers! How do you know that the right person is nearby? Should you listen only to your heart or should you turn to your mind? How to do right choice in a relationship? Let's talk about whether differences between people hinder their love or, on the contrary, help, what you should look for in a partner and how not to ruin a good relationship.

Difference in Approach

The first thing I would like to talk about is the approach when choosing a life partner. In fact, there are only two of them: rational and emotional. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Some people manage to combine these approaches, while others use only one strategy.

What is the difference between these approaches?

The emotional choice of a partner is based only on your feelings. Like it or don't like it. What you feel next to a person, what thoughts overcome you. Most often these are spontaneous, strong emotions, which push for rapprochement.

The advantage of this approach is that there is room for passion, love madness, exploits for the sake of the lady of the heart, and so on. But there is also a flip side to the coin. Under the influence of emotions, a person does not always see the truth. He is overwhelmed by love and his eyes are blind.

The rational choice of a life partner lies in logical justification, critical thinking, weighing the pros and cons of such a union, and so on.

Many men, in order not to make a mistake in choosing a wife, resort to a similar approach. They critically evaluate all the qualities of a girl and decide whether she is worthy of becoming faithful, loving wife. Girls also resort to a similar method. One of my clients spent a long time choosing between two boyfriends. She even gave them tests to see if they would act the way she wanted.

The advantage here is obvious - a partner is chosen thoroughly, thoughtfully, and slowly. But often there is no room for crazy feelings and emotions.

Both approaches work great. But in everything you need to be able to find a middle ground. Feelings and emotions are very important in a relationship; you shouldn’t give them up so easily. But you don’t need to turn off your mind either.

Which approach to use is up to you, the main thing is that it works for you and not against you.

One of my friends tried to logically come to a decision for so long that all her gentlemen ran away. And an overly emotional guy constantly rushes from one embrace to another, and cannot find the one and only one.

Similarities and differences

Very often I am asked the question: will we be happy, because we are so different? There is no answer to this question. For some, differences help in relationships, while for others they only hinder and cause constant quarrels.

The differences can be completely different areas life: hobbies, worldview, religion, nationality and so on.

One of my clients only dates foreigners; she doesn’t let Russian men near her at all, she’s not interested in them, they don’t inspire or excite her, so to speak. But foreigners attract her attention no matter what.

You can have opposite hobbies with a girl, but this will only bring you closer. She talks about her hobby, you share your knowledge with her and this fuels your interest in each other. Don't forget, it all depends on the situation.

What you should pay attention to

I offer you some points that will help you decide whether this is the right person or not.

Men, of course, should pay attention to the girl’s thriftiness. After all, you want a wife who can put things in order at home and will become a real queen of your home comfort. Remember that even if she doesn’t know how to cook or doesn’t know how to sew on a button, there’s nothing wrong with that. The main thing is her desire to learn.

Another point that can help men is talking with their friends. Watch your young lady's interactions with other girls. Maybe all their conversations come down to discussing parties, parties, cool cars and Louboutins? Think about whether such a lady was right for you.

I recommend that girls pay attention to the communication of their chosen one with their family. The way a man communicates with his mother can tell you a lot. You should not draw conclusions from this point alone. Situations are different, do not make serious decisions without fully understanding them.

My client’s husband has not communicated with his mother for a long time. They are very tense and difficult relationships. He calls her exclusively by her first name and patronymic and does not show proper filial attention. But he idolizes his wife and carries him in his arms.

Another girl should pay attention to the man’s determination. Now he may not earn millions, not have a car or a separate home, but he has aspirations and plans. And this is very important.

And, of course, pay attention to your sense of humor. It helps in a lot of ways life situations. A person who can laugh at himself and at his own mistakes will be much easier to deal with problems.

I highly recommend that you avoid your partner. For loyalty, for commercialism, for selfishness, for anything. Such a check can only ruin your relationship and lead to nothing good. Instead, carefully observe the person in natural circumstances and have heart-to-heart conversations more often.

Take note

Don't argue with your spouse in public. Even if you hear that your partner is talking outright nonsense, you should not tell him about it in public. Step aside or talk about it at home. There is no need to sort things out in public.

Don't talk bad about your loved one. Most often, when we communicate with friends or relatives, we talk about unpleasant moments in our relationships. Stop doing this. Talk about good and happy events. Don't create a negative image.

Don't compare. Never, under any circumstances, compare your loved one to someone else. Each of us is unique. We can act like someone else, but we cannot be the same.

Personal space. Don't forget about freedom. I'm not talking about total permissiveness, but your partner should have time for himself.

Don't try to change a person. Many people try to solve the problem by diligently changing the person. But this is not a solution. And the problem will not go away. And most likely, you won’t be able to change a person. Instead, look for a way out of the current situation together, talk, try different approaches, and don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

Building relationships is not easy, but very exciting. Remember, there is no right choice. There is your decision and what you will do next. It's up to you whether this relationship will work or not. Partners must trust each other, value and...

I suggest girls pay attention to the article “”. I'm sure you will find a lot of interesting and useful information for yourself.

What do you pay attention to when choosing a partner? What is most important to you in a person?

Love each other!

There are often situations in our lives when we find ourselves in the grip of a choice and don’t know how to make the right choice in life, how to accept the right decision. Another version of the problem is when the choice is not clear, and we are forced to “suffer” with the question: how to make exactly the right choice.

What's the difference? In the first case, the unknown of both options paralyzes, in the second, fear. Fear of making mistakes and making the wrong decision...

If we approach this issue psychologically, then both classes of situations are resolved through a detailed study of all information regarding the elections. And your reactions to this information.

How to make a choice and make the right decision (analytically)

Analytical example, step by step:

1. You write down your choices and use arrows to write down all their consequences.
2. After this, you switch, then sit in a calm state and begin to mentally live through each version of the written consequences, noting for yourself all the discomfort that arises. And in writing forming a conditional scale from 1 to 10 next to each.
3. Then look at the approximate total “score” next to each option that turned out.
4. You realize and analyze what you can really influence for the better.
5. Highlighting steps and goals. And choosing the right decision.

The right decision in life (emotional)

Another option is emotional, how to do: You live with every choice in life all day long. From morning to evening. It's like you've already chosen it. And note your emotions, thoughts and states from this. Write them down throughout the day.

After living through all the options, you analyze (by calculating in writing) the overall emotional scale and realize where the most emotions were manifested and their intensity.

How to make the right choice (karmically and energetically)

Third option: how to make choices in life, taking into account karmic tendencies, the yogic-energetic method

Firstly, from a yogic point of view, all our actions and choices are the consequences of our other actions and situations. The so-called karma. Therefore, both choices are essentially some kind of karmic consequences. Secondly, the point is not only that make the right choice, but also to deal with your condition, indecision, fear, which create this “crossroads”.

The main task is to understand the causal state or scenario, the so-called “karmic root” of the situation, and then make a choice.

Live understanding of the possibilities and pitfalls of choice in Kyiv you can during .

An alternative way is remotely: I can help you clarify the situation with the help of a special model synthesized from Indian Siddha Yoga and NLP modeling:

Remote service: “karmic cause and consequences of choice.”

What is used: traditions of India, NLP models, modeling of future lines.

What does it show: 1. subtle “causal” roots of the situation, 2. karmic options for the development of the situation from two choices, or when there is option A: do something or B: not do something.

For example:

Question: to divorce or not to divorce in the near future. A.’s choice is “get a divorce”, everything is clear here. And B.’s choice is “not to get a divorce,” it includes all the other options: find someone, wait it out, switch, etc. If desired, they require a separate analysis.

What will it lead to as a result? the main question of choice, in this case, divorce now or not now, becomes absolutely clear. The same thing happens if you start doing something else.

Additionally, the reasons are “visible” (“ karmic root") in general of the whole situation in a person’s karma, the answer to the question: why is this all for me or « how I created this for myself in life, why do I need this.”

How does remote selection diagnostics work:

1. You send your request to the email indicated below. You receive an answer, instructions and payment details (methods).
2. You pay for the service and send me the sources of information indicated by me.
3. I am reading the energy and karmic field. I am sending you a transcript of the reasons for your choice and the consequences that you can choose. Volume approximately 1.5-2 pages.
4. You can go to a closed section (or social network) and ask clarifying questions. Or do it by email.

Who does it (qualifications, experience):

Certified trainer of special programs, certified teacher of Himalayan Siddha Yoga. I independently traveled to the most “non-tourist” places in India and studied personally with the founder of NLP, Richard Bandler. And also from many other, best in their field, specialists in psychotechnics and spiritual practices.

Price:$50 at the current rate, (full analysis of the choice: 3-5 pages in Word.doc format and additional explanations if necessary)

For a preliminary consultation or to request and receive payment options, please send an email to

Can you imagine? what kind of success could be achieved if it was always easy and quick to make the right choice? Enroll in the most promising university? Choose exactly the partner who will bring true happiness to you personal life? Correctly determine the advantages of a particular vacancy? Choosing the best stocks to invest your money in? Such a person would probably become the ruler of the world in a couple of years.

Let's take a break from our dreams and remember how we usually make choices in real life. Depression, tossing from one thing to another, the desire not to choose at all or just toss a coin...

Remark: I say, of course, after trying it on my own skin and observing my friends. I was tormented for a couple of days difficult choice. I got angry and gathered my thoughts together to make an algorithm for the right choice. I have an unwritten (already written;) rule: if something turns out badly, do it better than anyone else.

So, the situation is familiar to everyone: you need to make some decision, choose between
several options for something (what job to get, what girl to choose, where to invest money). How to make the right choice? Let's figure it out.

First, a few notes.

1. We need to understand that our information about the available options is incomplete in any case (alas, we cannot see the future; the situation can always change). Therefore, a choice made in the most careful manner, well thought out and justified may ultimately turn out to be wrong.

There are two consequences from this fact:

— firstly, when making a choice, it’s good to be a little fatalistic. You need to tell yourself something like: “Whatever choice I make, I will be able to reap all the benefits later and cope with it.” negative consequences" Why is it necessary to understand that it is fundamentally impossible to make an ideal choice? (Because it is possible to guess with the choice and settle on ideal, but just guess) So, this is necessary in order to reduce the tension in the selection process. Depression, Bad mood– are absolutely unnecessary and do not contribute in any way to the right choice. And nothing good at all ;)

- on the other hand, this means that you can reduce the likelihood of making the wrong choice by extracting new information. Therefore, one should strive to study the subjects of choice as fully as possible.

2. We are often visited by the desire to leave everything as it is and not choose for as long as possible. In most cases, this tactic is not very smart. You want to control your life, right? Or not? Do you care what it will be like?

So if you want not to choose at all, then it is best to calm down, rest your soul, and again take on the problem of choice a little later. “The morning is wiser than the evening.” You can sleep with a fresh head, not littered negative emotions weigh everything and finally make a choice.

Decision making techniques.

How can you make a choice? There are several ways:

1. Just sit down (take a walk, lie in the bath, etc. - wherever is more convenient for you) and think. Twist through the options in your head, figure out what and how.

2. The same thing, but think about the options not haphazardly, but on paper or on the computer. Write: “Option 1” - and its characteristics, what you like, what you don’t like, what are the advantages and disadvantages.
3. Make a sign the following type(click to enlarge):

It’s quite obvious, but I’ll still explain: you evaluate each of the options according to several (the more, the better) criteria. For example, in the case of choosing a job, these could be: salary, availability of free time, prospects for growth, psychological comfort, social status and so on. After evaluation, you simply add up the results by individual options and with with a light heart choose the option that works greatest number points.

This method of decision-making is good not only and not so much in itself, but because it allows you to look at various options from a different sides, analyze different aspects the decision being made. This method of choosing between alternatives gives you a better understanding of the big picture.

Natural or fruity? Bio or regular? Is the packaging large or small? In a glass container or plastic cups? It is impossible to count the number of questions that our brain must answer before our hand reaches for four small raspberry yoghurts in multi-colored packaging. And no study has yet established how many times we have to do this exercise before we fill the cart!

But once you think about it, it becomes clear why sometimes going to the store tires us so much. And why are there days when we don’t have the strength to decide which blouse to wear to work, or understand what exactly we want for breakfast...

Where one person sees a choice, another does not see it

We are forced to make a variety of decisions every minute. Our choice begins with a simple purchase of yoghurts, but extends to such important things as a life partner, profession, conceiving a child, political beliefs, mortgage loan to buy an apartment for a period of 15–20 years...

We make many other decisions, not so significant, but causing vague anxiety: whether to get a flu shot, whether to transfer a child to another school, whether to change a doctor, whether to break unwritten rules.

It's difficult to choose. Let's try to understand what choice is and how we make it. And also take a few steps towards learning how to make informed decisions.

We are afraid of losing everything

It often happens that where one person sees a choice, another does not notice it. For example, for some of us, the boss’s words are something that is not discussed, that does not allow one’s choice, a different position. Others consider the commandments, humanity, common sense- and then options are possible. “But there was one who didn’t shoot,” Vysotsky sang. So there is a choice even where we don’t see it - we can’t or don’t want to.

“The choice lies in what we are already actually doing,” writes psychotherapist Elena Kalitievskaya. “It seems like we are still choosing, that we are still on the threshold, but in fact we have already chosen and are living...”

When a decision is made, uncertainty disappears - out of several options, only one remains. Sometimes you can beat him without any consequences, more often you can’t. In this case, we take the choice more seriously and choose more accurately, in contrast to the situation when the decision is reversible. But in both cases we lose something. It is this inevitable moment of loss that causes our torment. Because of it, we often perceive the need to decide as a burden, trying with all our might to avoid making a choice or at least delay it.

Who really chooses?

This is not an idle question. Often it is not committed by the one who has to deal with the consequences: parents with the best intentions do it for the child, a caring husband for his wife, a leader for the people. When something has already been decided for us, we often perceive it with gratitude. Yet the worst service you can do to your neighbor is to remove responsibility for your life choices from him.

It will, of course, be easier for him to live, but he will not invest himself in carrying out decisions that were not made by him. And as a result, life will pass by and will not become his own. This happens quite often: for some of us, the suffering of the heroes of television series is brighter and more genuine than anything that happens to us. But in order to use the chance given to us and live our own life, and not someone else’s, we must make decisions and make and correct mistakes ourselves.

What kind of elections are there?

Existential choice is a situation where alternatives and criteria are not predetermined. We must move forward without knowing what other opportunities will come along the way and how to compare them. This is how we choose a profession or a life partner.

There are situations in which choosing seems easier. This happens when the alternatives and criteria are obvious and all we have to do is carefully solve the problem that has the correct answer. For example, choose one of the routes around the city, taking into account the traffic jam situation.

Another case is more complicated: the alternatives are known, but they can be compared by for various reasons. Which one is important for us? An example is any shopping. Let's say, when buying clothes, beauty, price, color, practicality, originality, etc. are important - but what is more important? There is no clear answer...

How rationally do we choose?

No matter how we try to build decisions on purely rational grounds, we deceive ourselves, says psychologist Daniel Kahneman, professor at Princeton University (USA). Irrational assumptions and prejudices always interfere with this process, which give rise to errors in our reasoning.

Thus, Kahneman showed that we are much more sensitive to losses than to gains: the pain of losing $20 is greater than the joy of receiving it. We are afraid of plane crashes, although they happen 26 times less often than car accidents, because messages about them are accompanied by impressive, memorable footage, in contrast to road accidents, information about which is presented in dry numbers.

In the process of choosing, we convince ourselves that most people would do the same in our place, and no real facts unable to convince us. It turns out that it is impossible to accurately calculate “how it will actually be”; we simply unconsciously “adjust” the decision to a ready-made answer, prompted by intuition, our many beliefs and prejudices. Whether they turn out to be right or not, that depends on your luck.

How to choose correctly?

This is perhaps the main question. Answer: the right choice cannot be made. “Our life is completed only once,” states the writer Milan Kundera, “and therefore we will never be able to determine which of our decisions was correct and which was false. In this situation, we can only decide once, and we are not given any second, third, fourth life to be able to compare different decisions.”

We can only say whether it was decision made good or bad from the point of view of satisfaction with it, but we cannot determine whether it was better or worse - after all, even a decision that is good in its consequences may not be the best, and a bad one may be the lesser of evils. It is not uncommon to choose between bad and very bad. Yegor Gaidar's economic reforms had many negative consequences, it is difficult to argue with that. But was there at that moment best option? None of his passionate critics mention this option.

Possible error

If it's impossible to make the right choice, doesn't that mean we don't care what to choose? No, that doesn't mean it. A choice cannot be right or wrong, but it can be good or bad, and the line between them is drawn in our minds.

No choice can be made absolutely rationally, big role irrational, uncalculated components also play in it. We have a chance to do good choice, if we admit that there is no one objectively correct decision and with any option you can make a mistake. In this case, we act at our own peril and risk. We accept responsibility, recognize the decision as our own and invest in the implementation of what we have chosen. And in case of failure, we do not regret, but gain experience and learn from our mistakes.

If we are convinced that there is only one objectively correct decision, and we believe in the ability to rationally “calculate” it, believing that everything else will somehow happen by itself, we are making a bad choice. So many of us vote for the “right” candidate in the elections, and then “lie on the stove” until the next one. If our expectations are not met, we will most likely begin to blame everyone around us except ourselves and will feel disappointed, irritated, and resentful.

Making good choices is difficult because it requires effort, energy and the ability to choose. The outstanding English philosopher of the 17th century, John Locke, wrote that people so often make bad choices precisely because, while they are well aware of the immediate, especially pleasant consequences, they are much less able to assess the distant, often not so rosy, prospects.

And yet, some of us make decisions so quickly that the illusion of ease and spontaneity arises. Those who have experience making decisions, including moral ones, who know how to put forward and evaluate arguments for and against, who strive to see the long-term consequences of their decisions, make more accurate choices even in the most difficult situations.

Is it possible to choose faith?

The conscious decisions we made in the past determine what we believe now, philosopher Julian Baggini argues in his blog: “In every at the moment we certainly don't choose what to believe. But we can resolve to make every effort to overcome our destructive tendency to believe what is convenient to believe, and to develop the habit of believing only well-founded statements.

Then faith will be the result of thinking about what arguments are convincing, how much we are willing to doubt our motives and analyze them. Our decisions become freer when they involve the ability to reflect and compare. We cannot decide whether or not to believe in God, but we can decide how much we will consider inconvenient facts and false motives. And in this sense, we are responsible for what we believe in.”

Ideal choice

To accomplish it, you need to go through and weigh all possible alternatives. But most often this is impossible, since this process requires a lot of time and energy - the psychological costs of the process itself grow faster than the benefits of sorting through options. American psychologists Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper proved this with this example.

When customers were asked to choose from 24 types of jam, the majority, even after trying all the options, left the store with nothing. They just couldn't choose. When the choice was limited to six jars, jam was purchased ten times more often. So the abundance of alternatives and the desire for perfect choice leads, alas, to negative results.

American social psychologist Barry Schwartz believes that in such situations, part of us (he calls such people maximizers) always strives not to miss a single option and collects comprehensive information before making a decision. The other part (optimizers), having gone through a certain number of alternatives, draws a line: they choose from what they managed to look at and evaluate. Which one do you think is happier and more successful in life?

“There are always several correct choices”

Yulia Latynina, journalist

I think there is no right choice in the full sense of the word. That is, there are always several correct choices. The main thing for us is not to make the wrong choice. For example, if I started studying physics, I would hardly make the wrong life choice - it would be terribly interesting. But if I were involved in prostitution, it would be the wrong choice.

If in doubt, even flipping a coin “heads” or “tails” - in the absence of other criteria - is not so stupid: according to classical game theory, in the absence of information best way making a decision is a random choice. How to choose a partner for life? Same as life path- free. Or overcoming what makes us unfree.

But even if we made a bad choice, we shouldn’t be upset about it - it’s better to think about what to do next. There is a rule that pilots once told me about: if an emergency occurs on a plane, the main thing is not to worry about why it happened, but to land the plane.”

Immutability or obscurity

Any choice ultimately comes down to a choice between immutability and uncertainty, as the outstanding psychologist Salvatore Maddi proves in his works. Stepping into the unknown creates anxiety, but also gives a chance to find meaning. Choosing immutability reduces anxiety, but generates guilt for unrealized opportunities.

In unimportant situations, the new, unknown is chosen by those who are distinguished by a meaningful attitude to life, resilience, and optimism. It seems that those who find the strength to choose an unknown future have much greater personal resources.

In the case of the key life choice, such as the choice of a life partner, Barry Schwartz suggests that it should be considered final from the very beginning: “Panging doubts about whether your love is “real” or your sexual relations- really passionate, and thinking that your choices could have been better is a recipe for misery.”

Learn to choose

This is necessary! To make a decision in which we will not be disappointed, we need to accurately define our goal, understand our desires, and collect and evaluate the available information. The main thing here is not what exactly we choose, but how we make this choice - consciously or spontaneously. In the first case, there is a real inner work, in the second - intuition or simply the desire to “not worry.”

We have different attitudes towards choice: some are happy when it is available, others would prefer to receive a ready-made answer. The ability to meaningfully decide for oneself and for oneself reflects a person’s maturity, his adulthood. Children don't really know how to choose. Of course, they know perfectly well what they want at the moment, but they cannot take into account even slightly delayed consequences of their decisions. This skill comes with age, when readiness for choice gradually develops.

Choice in itself is neither good nor bad. It expands our capabilities, but does everyone need it? Increase in quantity possible options at the same time it means an increase in responsibility and requirements for the one who makes the choice. An adult is no happier than a child, just as a queen is no happier than a pawn. It’s just that his happiness is much more in his own hands.

“Give children the opportunity to try everything to the maximum”

Tatyana Bednik, psychologist

To help your child discover what he really prefers, it is important to give him the opportunity to try as many things as possible. various options, explains developmental psychologist Tatyana Bednik. Tatyana Bednik works as a psychologist at a school and the Moscow Treatment Center psychological assistance children and teenagers. She is the author of the training “Effective interaction between parents and children.”

Psychologies: At what age do children learn to choose?

Tatiana Bednik: Even the smallest children make choices many times a day, but for now they are intuitive and emotional. From the age of two, they can distinguish the taste of foods well and, therefore, can choose what they like. By the age of five or six, they develop preferences for certain colors and, therefore, preferences in clothing. By the age of 10–12, a teenager can be expected to make conscious moral decisions and actions: to act this way is good, and to act this way is bad.

Why do children need to be taught this?

A child is by nature a conservative. If he eats pasta every day, and one day he is asked to choose between pasta and, for example, cauliflower, he will inevitably vote for pasta! But this will be a tribute to habit, not a choice. Therefore, it is important that parents give children the opportunity to get acquainted with other options - gently, delicately, spurring their natural curiosity, attracting attention. Only in this way will children be able to understand what they like best and choose exactly that.

How to teach a child to choose?

Paradoxically, learning to do this goes through a stage of coercion. It is necessary for the child to try both borscht and fish soup so that he can find out which he likes best. Even if it is not in fashion now, we must confront children with necessity. In this case, we are talking about, say, what is the only dish for lunch today. And tomorrow it will be completely different. And only after this will he be able to ask for what he likes best - when he finds out for himself, when he stops “choosing” the usual. This science is being learned day by day!

Our behavior is determined by the characteristics of our psyche. And the more accurately you understand your own nature and the nature of other people, the easier it will be for you to navigate life and choose, decide difficult questions and predict the outcome of events. System-vector psychology will help you understand everything with utmost accuracy.

Questions of choice confront us every day. It is especially difficult to make a choice if it can affect your life scenario or change your relationships with people. Favorite thing or work for money? Mistress or wife? How to make a choice so as not to make a mistake? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will help you make a choice of any complexity.

This article is about those for whom making the right choice is an important and difficult matter. Read on if:

you are not used to doing all the “goof-ups”, you need to find out all the details, figure it out, think about it, and then make a decision;

in your profession and other life issues you act thoroughly, without haste;

if you need to make the right choice, ask respected people for advice;

It is important for you not to make a mistake - the decision must be made once and for all, not changed, it must be immediately correct, the best possible.

It's interesting that for some people the choice comes easy. Why? Our behavior is determined by the characteristics of our psyche. And the more accurately you understand your own nature and the nature of other people, the easier it will be for you to navigate life and make choices, solve complex issues and predict the outcome of events. System-vector psychology will help you understand everything with utmost accuracy.

Making a choice is not a difficult task for everyone

So, men and women who have , do not rack their brains about how to make the right choice, which option will be the best and correct, they think about how not to make a mistake. Being physically and mentally flexible, even when choosing a job or relationship, a wife or mistress, they do it easily and quickly. They rely on rational judgments, instantly assess the benefits and benefits.

How to make the right choice if you are a perfectionist

But perfectionists by nature are men and women with. It is important to them that everything is done perfectly and correctly. It is better to spend more time to go through all the options, eliminate the wrong ones, and only then decide on a decision.

We turn to expert opinion

Due to their innate mental characteristics, it is difficult for them to make a choice. They are not leaders, their natural tasks are different - they have quality, they are executive and need to initiate the first step.

In childhood, being obedient children, they wait for advice and tips from their mother. Having become adults, owners of the anal vector often continue to seek the opinion of an authoritative person who will help them decide and help them not make mistakes and make the right choice. They discuss difficult, complex issues with those who command their respect. Who has experience? This helps to make the right choice when it comes to the professional field. But if the choice concerns your personal life, then no one can know what is best for you!

Any advice will be based on the experience of the adviser, his values ​​and preferences, but this will not necessarily be good for you, because you have your own values ​​and preferences.

Therefore, it is extremely important for you to understand what you really want, then you can achieve it.

The key to the right choice. How to become an expert in your life

How to make the right choice if, for example, you are choosing a life partner? What to rely on? System-vector psychology provides irreplaceable knowledge here, helping to deeply understand the psyche - one’s own and that of others. Already at the first contact with a guy or girl, you can easily find out what character traits a person has (loyal or fickle, kind or not, emotional or reserved, what he will love and what he will strive for, what is important to him and what is not so important) ), what life scenario awaits you as a couple, etc. And so on in everything. You will be able to make a choice of profession, place of work, negotiation tactics, methods of education, or anything - when you understand the human psyche, there are no unanswered questions for you. This is confirmed by numerous people who have undergone training in system-vector psychology.

What prevents us from making a choice?

In addition to a natural reluctance to make decisions, the owner of the anal vector can be hampered by childhood psychological trauma, overstress, and resentment. Then:

he becomes pathologically indecisive;

fear of the future, fear of change only strengthens him in his decision not to change anything;

he cannot bring himself to act. Infinitely any important matter.

As a result, he becomes unable to even choose between two toothbrushes in the store.

With the help of system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan from such serious condition you can get rid of it. This is evidenced by the results of many people:

“When you see something unfinished, fear no longer arises, quite the opposite: a pleasant feeling of what now needs to be completed, finished. And the moment of starting, moving from a dead point, is especially pleasant. But this is precisely what made me suffer so much. Positive experience is being gained. There is already a feeling inside that I can achieve what I want. I began to want more, to dream about more. Confidence has appeared..."