A simple way to distinguish the works of great artists. If everyone, even the aunts, looks like Putin, that’s Van Eyck. What can you learn from artists’ paintings?

Original taken from vasily_sergeev V

A Brief Guide to Fine Arts

And at the end of the year, as usual, there is an exam. First two questions, and then additional execution on an individual basis. Based on the number of your absences per year (!), he took postcards out of the stack. At random, it was necessary to name the author and the title. Or at least the author, or at least the title. They quickly remembered the Mona Lisa and a couple of others, but something had to be done with the rest of the mulyon. Especially because everyone went to the retake already in a hurry. And so, in order to guess the authors, we in the group came up with a classification. And you know, in 97 cases out of a hundred it works! Still!

By remembering a few simple points, in a company that is not too close to ISO, you can be considered an expert, and in general.

1. If you see a dark background in the picture and all sorts of suffering on the faces, this is Titian.

The exception is this naked person with no signs of thought on her face. You can remember one. Venus, not Venus, but there is something venereal in her.

2. If in the picture there are buttocks and cellulite even on men, don’t hesitate - it’s Rubens.

3. If the men in the picture look like hairy-eyed, curly-haired women or just Italian fagots, this is Caravaggio.

He generally painted women one and a half times. In the next picture there is a woman: Gorgonyan Medusa Arutyunovna. Why she looks like Jonidep is a mystery worse than Monalisa’s smile.

4. If there are a lot of little people in the picture, this is Bruegel.

5. Many little people, little incomprehensible garbage - Bosch

6. If you can easily add a couple of fat-assed cupids and sheep to the picture (or they are already there in various configurations), without disturbing the composition - these could be:

b) Watteau

7. Beautiful, everyone is naked, and the figures are like those of bodybuilders after drying - Michelangelo.

8. You see a ballerina - you say Degas. If you say Degas, you see a ballerina.

9. Contrasting, harsh, and everyone has such skinny, bearded faces - El Greco.

10. If everyone, even the aunts, looks like Putin, it’s Van Eyck

11. Monet - spots, Manet - people

For many, remembering artists and their paintings seems like an impossible task. Over hundreds of years, history has written down the names of many artists whose names are well-known, unlike their paintings. How to remember the artist's personality and style? We have prepared a brief description for those who want to understand fine arts:

If the paintings show people with big butts, you can be sure it's Rubbens

If people in beautiful clothes relax in nature - Watteau

If men look like curly-haired women with hairy eyes - This is Caravaggio

If a painting with a dark background shows a person with a beatific expression or a martyr - Titian

If the painting contains multi-figure compositions, many people, objects, Christian and surreal motifs - this is Bosch

If the painting contains multi-figure compositions and complex plots, but they look more realistic than Bosch’s paintings, rest assured that this is Bruegel.

If you see a portrait of a person against a dark background in dim, yellow light - Rembrandt

Biblical and mythological scenes depicting several plump cupids - Francois Boucher

Naked, pumped up bodies, perfect shapes - Michelangelo

Ballerinas are drawn, this is Degas

Contrasting, sharp image with gaunt and bearded faces - El Greco

If the painting shows a girl with a unibrow, this is Frida

Quick and light strokes, bright colors and depictions of nature – Monet

Light colors and rejoicing people – Renoir

Bright, colorful and rich - Van Gogh

Dark colors, black outlines and sad people - Manet

The background is like from the movie “The Lord of the Rings”, with a light blue fog. Madonna's wavy hair and aristocratic nose - Da Vinci

If the body depicted in the painting has an unusual shape - Picasso

Colored squares like an Excel document - Mondrian

And all because this issue has not lost its relevance to this day. The essence of this method was to remember several starting points. It was actually invented in order to pass an exam, but it worked so well that by using this trick one could be considered an intellectual connoisseur of painting.

And here is the story itself.

“A long time ago, in my first year, we studied art history. The subject itself is terribly interesting, but the teacher is crap that you wouldn’t find with a flashlight during the day. As far as I know, there is not a single student who likes him.

He gave lectures on Saturdays, from 8 in the morning until five minutes to five he stood at the door, and then locked it. That's all. Didn't make it before eight - a pass, and many passes - a great grief.

Now I'll tell you why. All year he showed us slides of paintings, sculptures, mosaics and other things, ranging from cave paintings to Russian artists of the 80s. And he had all these slides in the form of postcards. Here's a pack.
And at the end of the year, as usual, there is an exam. First two questions, and then additional execution on an individual basis. Based on the number of your absences per year (!), he took postcards out of the stack.

Especially because everyone went to the retake already in a hurry. And so, in order to guess the authors, we in the group came up with a classification. And you know, in 97 cases out of a hundred it works! Still!"

Here's part of that classification:

"- A long time ago, in the first year, we had the history of art. Lectures were held on Saturday at 8 am and at five to five the “teacher” stood at the door, and then closed it with a lock. And that’s it. If you didn’t have time, you got a pass. All for a year he showed us slides of paintings, ranging from cave paintings to Russian artists of the 90s. And he had all these slides in the form of postcards. And at the end of the year, as usual, there were two questions, and then an execution. individually. According to the number of your passes in a year (!), he took out postcards from the pack. And they had to say the author or the name of the Mona Lisa and a couple more, and they quickly remembered. To guess the author, we in the group came up with a classification. And you know, in 97 cases out of a hundred, it still works!

If you see a dark background in a painting and all sorts of suffering on their faces, this is Titian.

The exception is this bare-bottomed person with no signs of thought on her face. You can remember one. Venus, not Venus, but there is something venereal in her:

If the picture shows buttocks and cellulite even on men, don’t hesitate - it’s Rubens.

If the men in the painting look like hairy-eyed, curly-haired women, this is Caravaggio.

He generally drew the woman one and a half times. The next picture is of a woman. Gorgonyan Medusa Arutyunovna. Why she looks like a johnide is a mystery purer than the smile of the Mona Lisa.

If there are a lot of little people in the picture - Bruegel.

A lot of little people, and a lot of other things - Bosch.

If all people look like homeless people, at night in the light of a dim lantern, this is Rembrandt.

If you can easily add a couple of fat-butted cupids and sheep to the picture (or they are already there) - this is Boucher.

Beautiful, everyone is naked and their figures are like those of bodybuilders after drying - Michelangelo.

You see a ballerina - you say Degas. If you say Degas, you see a ballerina.

Contrasting, harsh, bluish, and everyone has such skinny, bearded faces - El Greco.

And finally, if everyone, even the aunts, looks like Putin, it’s Jan van Eyck

I’ll be honest: I don’t know the author. If anyone can tell me
his name - I will be very grateful! So, the story itself.
++++
A long time ago, in my first year, we studied art history. The subject itself is terribly interesting, but the teacher is crap that you couldn’t find with a flashlight during the day. As far as I know, there is not a single student who likes him. He gave lectures on Saturday at 8 a.m., and stood at the door at five to five, and then locked it. And everyone who didn’t make it before eight is given a pass. And many absences are a big grief. Now I’ll tell you why: all year he showed us slides of paintings, sculptures, mosaics and other things, ranging from cave paintings to Russian artists of the 80s. And he had all these slides in the form of postcards. Here is such a pack. And at the end of the year, as usual, there is an exam. First, two questions, and then an additional execution on an individual basis, according to the number of your passes in a year (!) He took postcards out of a pack. Out of order. And it was necessary to name the author and the title, or at least the author, or at least the title. They all memorized Mona Lisa and a couple of others quickly, but something needs to be done with the rest of the mullion, especially since everyone went to the retake for the first time. And so, to guess the author, we in the group came up with a classification. And you know, in 97 cases out of a hundred, it works! Still!
By remembering a few simple points, in a company not too close to fine art, you can be considered an expert in general.
So:

1. If you see a dark background in the picture and all sorts of suffering on the faces, this is Titian.

The exception is this naked-assed person with no signs of thought on her face. You can remember one. Venus, not Venus, but there is something venereal in her.

2. If the picture shows buttocks and cellulite even on men, don’t hesitate - it’s Rubens.

3. If the men in the picture look like hairy-eyed, curly-haired women or just Italian fagots, this is Caravaggio.

He generally drew the woman one and a half times. The next picture is of a woman. Gorgonyan Medusa Arutyunovna. Why she looks like Johnny Depas is a mystery purer than the smile of Mona Lisa

4. If there are a lot of little people in the painting - Bruegel

5. A lot of little people + little incomprehensible garbage - Bosch

6. If you can easily add a couple of fat-assed cupids and sheep to the picture (or they are already there in various configurations), without disturbing the composition - these can be
a) Bush

B) Watteau

7. Beautiful, everyone is naked and the figures are like those of bodybuilders after drying - Michelangelo

8. You see a ballerina - you say Degas. You say Degas - you see a ballerina

9. Contrasting, harsh, bluish and everyone has such skinny bearded faces - El Greco